I'm Not Little Miss Perfect!

Hey!
it's 09.38 pm and i am not happy!!!
here's what i wanna say :


"first, I'M NOT LITTLE MISS PERFECT LIKE U R!i'm just a little girl that stuck in thing little "perfect" world, and i can't reach u and ur perfect world....okay, somethimes i didn't know what to do or waht should i do, u got it? it's like i can't be 'that perfect'. all i asked from u is : STOP YELLING AT ME!!! it's resally frustrating u know. i didn't mind anyone spoke to me rudely, just DON'T YELL AT ME, it makes me wanna cry u know, makes my good mood turn to worst mood ever in the next second. even the wor u yelled is : SHUT UP! it makes me like u know...hurt. So sad. i really tired of running, held my tears, something like that. and i know, sometines i cried at night, when everybody think i was asleep, sometimes i wasn't, i was crying. and i'm really tired of that. sometimes it feels like no one care about me, i didn't know to whom should i tell my sad-sad story? is there anyone that even wanna here it? I'm lossing hope, I'm lossing faith in my self, in everybody, it's like no one ever on my side, and really need that, okay, u can call me a selfish bitch,but whatever. i really NEED that someone, i feel ashame of my self whan i was thinking to tell these story to my bestfriend. everybody thought i was a "happy little girl in her perfect world and never sad, a.k.a always happy." it's like a mask to my face, a part of me i don't want anybody to worried, but the other part, i need that someone... so sad... :( and yet, sometimes that mask fell,and i cried. again and again and again, i really need to stop these crying!!!!(even i didn't cry a lot). honestly, i felt this big hole in my heart that NEEDS to be heal.help. i can feel my heartbeat beats three times faster when someone yelled at me, or when i didn't feel so good. and the hole in my heart is gettig bigger and bigger.......
that's all i guess..."



thanks for visiting!!

xoxo
Sophia